Review - My newest fiddle

Review: Hohohner PROFESSIONAL G3T or Steinburgers Super Spirited GT-Pro Standard Custom Special Guitar

Background:

Having discovered that the guitars I own are worth more than my car I decided that throwing one in the trunk when I travel is maybe not the greatest of ideas. I set oot to find an inexpensive, indestructible, easily modifiable small electric that I could use as a travel guitar. I liked the idea of being able to throw it in an overhead bin on an airliner, use it as a paddle on river rafting adventures, or to use it as a lever if my jack didn’t work on my 4WD. A visit to the local Purveyor of Fine Stringed Instruments showed me several possibilities, but they did not look up to jacking duty. A search of the Web turned up a long forgotten name – Steinburgers. I did some further checking and was able to determine that they were bought by a major manufacturer we all love some years back (begins with a G and ends with a ibson) and they made a relatively cheap model that might fit my needs. As I have cheap relatives I was comfortable with this notion.

I was able to find 4 whole customer reviews of the Steinburgers product though it has been oot for years. 2 were positive 2 were negative. The negative ones said it was total crap. The positive ones said it sounded better and was more playable than a ‘vintage burst’. Assuming the negative ones were the seller trying to corner the market on this fantastic instrument I threw all caution to the wind (as well as fecal material at the ventilation device) and ordered one. In black. This is important, as you will see later.


Ordering:

There are not many dealers qualified to sell a guitar of this caliber. Oogling “Steinburger Dealers” may help. If it is the Spirit line there are but a handful blessed with the knowledge and skills requisite for the vaunted “Steinburger Dealership” moniker. I placed an order with a large company with the initials M and F. During the wait, no email, call, backorder, no email, wait, backorder, call, no email, call, call, cuss, it’s their problem, it’s your problem, it’s not our fault we don’t even know it’s shipped but we will keep you informed, no email phase I was kept in constant amusement by highly knowledgeable sales associates. Polite inquiries and not so polite inquiries are met with the same level of chiperness we used to expect of stewardesses on prop type airliners. Pity the younger generation will never know the euphoric facial and vocal mannerisms. However, these clerks, err, sales associates do a reasonable job of simulating it. I would dearly love to see the notes section of my order… After waiting 2 months they finally substituted a Hohoner in place of the Steinburgers. A version by Hohoner called the G3T Professional had been oot for years and was now being made in the same plant. Hohoner is a great company with a very solid reputation and great customer service (servicing harmonicas is a highly technical if not somewhat disgusting challenge, and after removing dried spit and loogies from brass reeds I am certain they love working on guitars). They are a German company and we all know from the ShamWOW commercials that that means they make great stuff. Vince would approve.



The model is slightly different in the lettering and the black whammy bar. Other than that they are mostly the same. I had hoped for the Steinbugers Super Spirited GT-Pro DELUXE Custom Special Guitar as it had 2 humbuckers and one half-a-humbucker like the Fenenders. I had to settle for 2 half-a-humbuckers and one real pickup instead.

Receipt:

After a two month wait the ExFed guy dropped off the guitar. I mean literally dropped it off the truck. He kicked the box up the hill to my front door and seeing a “barrel” sticking oot the window tipped his hat and ran back down the hill to his truck. (After seeing the back of his pants I suspect he will be working for the other shipper from now on.) I laughed and laughed. The “barrel” is a curtain rod I had thrown at the cat months ago. Had it been a gun barrel it would have been aboot an 8 gauge! The guy was clearly a dunce; you can’t get ammo for an 8 gauge! (I use an electric chainsaw for threats, but that’s another story).

The box had arrived! The wondergitar was MINE! The box was destroyed, but inside the tattered remains was a completely whole and unharmed in any way marvel of modern technology. Truly the Crowbar of Country. The Sledgehammer of Soul. The Ball Bat of Blues. The Red Rider of Rock! The Hohoner PROFESSIONAL G3T Stupendous Super Guitar (with NO FREE gig bag like the Steinburgers has)! I need to put my frogging gigs somewhere and had plans for that bag…

Specifications:

If you are unfamiliar with a Steinburgers or a Hohoner you have a lot of company. The last time I checked there are NO questions aboot them at the Pearly Gates. (You do have to correctly identify 3 patent number stickered humbuckers though.) Farley Steinburgersonknudsen had an aversion to tuning pegs because he had no wrists and around 1974 invented a revolutionary bass guitar that had everyone talking. See the picture below.



At some point I may write a history of this fascinating man and all the technology he has spawned, but to keep this review G-rated I will avoid it here... Returning to the point and dialing the time clock up to today, I will bring forth the specifications of this marvel. Below is a picture of the Hohoner PROFESSIONAL G3T Stupendous Super Guitar. I have added cardboard placeholders for the parts that were missing on mine so you don’t have to figure it oot.

This model has 3 pickups. A half-a-humbucker in the neck position, half-a-humbucker in the middle position and a real humbucker at the bridge. They clearly could have put another 2 half humbuckers in the middle (or a full and a half), even with the 24-fret full size fingerboard. But they went cheap. Go figure.

There is a master Volume Knob right next to the bridge pickup. Right next to it. See it? Right there against the pickup ring. If you get the white one it will soon be red. Blood does not show so much on the black.

Then you see the 3 selector switches. The first 2 are simple on/off and the third is a 3 way to allow single coil or real pickup sounds oot of the biggun. This allows for a myriad of tonal shadings. Twelve. (For a sound other than a very small dwarf with a head-cold - one). The Steinburgers model has a 5 position switch in place of these if you are overwhelmed by the Hohoner choices.

The knob in the rear is tone. Turn it all you want, the guitar remains black. I don’t know if it is defective, but because of all the blood maybe it’s better that way.

If you examined the picture closely you noticed the head is missing. After sending 3 back as defective I kept the 4th and put the cardboard cutout where it should be in case the factory reads this review. Fortunately they put some defective strings on it that had a ball on each end. By turning those knureled knobs that hold on the bridge you can coax a correct tune out of this thing rather easily and quickly. They should patent this mistake as it quite clearly could be used on cheese cutters. You will also discover they forgot to attach the sides to the center block (as shown above). As this will be used as a crowbar I can live without them; but because it looks like a shovel or a broom I will have to hide it from the wife around Halloween.

Notice that there is a handle coming oot back by the bridge area. This was defective on mine and I have removed it. Used as a handle it spins uselessly possibly dumping this chunky monkey on your toe. Believe me, the weight will have you howling the blues. I also noticed if you push or pull it the guitar goes oot of tune. I had fun with this at one gig. I’d tune up and tell Farge “Tune to this.” “Why can’t you tune to this?” Etc. It was good for 15 minutes of filler. I giggled like a school girl.

On the bottom side there is a folding jack base that I found might hold this axe in a somewhat appropriate position for playing while sitting. I have to take off marks as a fulcrum point though if you are using it to lever the truck axle off a rock. Physics is quite clearly not their forte. If you are left handed it can work as a chin rest, but then it would be on the wrong side to get the axle off a rock.

Some have asked if it is a “C” or a “D” shaped neck! I HAVE NEVER HAD A GUITAR WITH A “C” SHAPED NECK! Unless you are double jointed you could not do a barre cord. Every one I have owned has a fingerboard and therefore resembles a “D” rather than a “C” Sheesh.

The neck is somewhat chunky. I have long thin fingers and can negotiate the frets OK if I could find them, but some more wood needs to be removed for it to be comfortable to me. I may shave the corners off the 2X4 being careful not to remove the “Kiln Dried” stamps as they may add to the collectors value later.

This thing is heavy for it’s dimunitive looks! No cheap dried oot wood here; fortunately they coated it real deep with paint so it does not leave a horrid “wet spot” when you lay it on a cement floor. If you are in a bar fight it would certainly be the weapon of choice. As added value it gives it acceptable sustain (the wife has incredible sustain when she gets going, but I don’t like listening to her either). It comes in at almost 6 pounds on the scale so as a cautionary side note; it is legitimately a “lethal weapon” in some states and territories. Though, you may successfully argue yourself oot of this in most courts, trust me.

Fit and Finnish:

It is black. As far as I know it is made in a foreign country, but I don’t think it’s Finnish. I doubt it’s Norwegian or Swedish either as it’s not listed in the Ikea catalog. The thing fits in the trunk though, that’s good.

I read that it is “coated with high gloss poly-urethane”. Why anybody would make fake pee is beyond me. Maybe it is a theft deterrent? I wiped it down immediately to remove this. I had a dog I shot for urethaning on the furniture. It is pretty shiny when wiped down and it looks as though the paint is applied really well, nice and thick. Nope – they didn’t go cheap on the paint. I suspect they might have dipped it. You might want to wax it as blood comes off a waxed surface easier.

Playability:

If I could play worth a chit I would have a Brinks truck driving my other fiddles to my gigs and would not need to practice on the road. But if the Brinks truck blew a tire and the jack was missing? I’d want this puppy right there. Hey, it works for “Stairway To Heavoooonnnnnnn” pretty damn good. I can do a C chord and an A cord. It seems to work as well as my ’59 LPJ for that. At 11 on my amp it brings in the County Mounties as fast as my vintage 666 (double necked 333) or 345. This baby can scream. So can my wife. I need a bigger amp.

The action may need to be adjusted when you receive it. Mine was set to “5 square”. For the unwashed masses, a 5 square is determined by taking a block of cheese and pressing it down on the strings, lifting and rotating it 90 degrees and pressing down again. If you slide the block away from you after the second press you have 5 perfectly square cheese blocks. Add toothpicks and party down! Needless to say, you may want the action lower unless you have the hands of Atlas. Mine had a shy fret on #2. The frets are pretty small to begin with and if you need to level them you are duplicating a fretless pretty quick. The fingerboard radius specs say it is 14 inches. Any flatter and you would need nylon strings.

Some have claimed it can hold it’s own with a vintage Les Paul “Burst”. I can attest to this. If you put a sheet of felt between the Burst’s strings and fingerboard you can duplicate the sound on the Hohoners quite easily. The pickups are all right, but not sterling (they are black). I will pull the pickups oot of a 58 LP so I can see how it sounds with PAFs. It will be amazing I’m sure.


Value:

Wow. How can you ask? This is quite obviously one of the most versatile tools in my arsenal. Sure, you can paddle up the river with any guitar. But will it lift a semi? Protect you and your family? Aid in hiding evidence oot back or in a vacant lot? AND keep in tune all the time? I think not. Buy one now. Get the black one.

:applaude

Now THAT is funny.

Nice review!

Wrong forum!

See ya Backstage

Cheers!

When did Gibson make this guitar? :wah

I think we'll let this slide given the date posted...

and geeze....he went to an awful lot of trouble!!

:applaude

renderit, You're not considering changing to Grovers are you?

bluesjuke said:

renderit, You're not considering changing to Grovers are you?

Click to expand...

After I mount the head.......Actually have changed all the electronics. I have to solder them in, but Spanky now has 2 Seymour Duncan Little 59er's and an old gold humbucker from a '69 Custom, RS Pots and a Luxe Bumblebee. I hope it sounds better. It will always be an abomination...

I think you should send to HM for the full makeover...I wouldn't want Murphy checking up that headstock!

The headstock won't check. But FOLDING is a problem. Fortunately if it gets marked up I can flip it over...

Bumping this back up. Long story short something tragic had to happen in order for this thread to resurface. See there is always a silver lining!

this is laugh out loud funny.

That Steinberger is wonderful looking. Who influenced you to buy it?

These Steinberger/Gibsons would work for both a paddle or jacking your car up, unfortunately there was only a bass version. Ned Steinberger designed this Gibson 20/20 bass about the time Gibson bought the company, it may have made more sense had it been headless.